Tuesday, July 6, 2010
TUF E NUF FILM BUF - FUTURE FORCE
We all know the future is going to be fucked up. We just don't know exactly how. Action International Picture's (AIP) Future Force is like a magic window into a future that would have been had David Carradine not tied a little noose around his penis and forgot the safe word while a Thai hooker choked him to death in a hotel closet. So when watching the movie we should imagine it sans-Carradine and the horrible reality of a future overrun by criminals and thugs will become terrifyingly real.
In the future (1991) crime in America is out of control, prisons are overrun, and the streets have become battlefields. Out of resources and options the police have become privatized. Carradine is John Tucker, a bounty hunter who heads the notorious Civilian Operated Police Systems. The name of his gang of bounty hunters at first seems pretty pansy but when you realize it's acronym is C.O.P.S. you feel pretty fucking stupid for ever thinking they were anything less then super-badass. When choosing an acronym one should always pick a kick-ass word first and then conveniently lump some somewhat pertinent words together to fit the letters after. They have a serious arsenal of killer weapons and will stop at nothing to stop criminals in the name of the law. But when Tucker learns of corruption within the C.O.P.S. organization he will have to fight the very thing he used to fight for, the law, and he will have to use force in a time ahead of our own (1991), hence Future Force.
Fade into a factory in the future. Workers are leaving after a long day of work.
A lone man waits in a jeep outside with a gun and a badge. More like a patch actually. He waits for a criminal, his bounty, who is worth a whopping $7,500.
His mark is up to his old criminal drug dealing ways as he gets ready to sell his product to two Canadians (obvious by their over use of denim and pleats).
But the jig is up, Tucker appears and reads the scumbag his rights, which includes that he is "guilty until proven innocent" and has "the right to die".
After a not so tense standoff the trenchcoated drug peddler tries get his wallet from his coat and Tucker mistakes his gun for his taser and blasts him with an old-school six shooter.
Enraged by Tucker killing their drug dealer, the two Candians viciously attack him with a 2X4 and knock him to the ground.
Down but not out, Tucker strikes back with a lightning fast ball punch and quickly defeats the two Canucks.
The Canadians revive themselves and attempt to make a hasty escape but Tucker pops the trunk to reveal his secret weapon. A deadly modified Nintendo Power Glove!
He slaps it on and powers it up.
The two drug-crazed Canadian criminals try to run Tucker over on their way out.
Bad move because Tucker decides he's had enough of this bullshit and blasts them with his awesome Power Glove.
Justice is served, cold, on a hot plate of death, served straight to your face by a deadly waiter with a robot arm named John Tucker.
There is a lot of justice being served in the future. You can tell by a well charted "Weekly Kills" list on a chalkboard at C.O.P.S.
C.O.P.S. headquarters is full of crime fighting mercenaries.
Tough dudes with no use for sleeves chomping at the bit for the next big-money bounty. Although that leather/chain combo thing might technically count as a sleeve.
C.O.P.S. headquarters also has a bar where the bounty hunters blow off steam slamming beers and watching babes dance.
Meanwhile, across town, a spunky young news reporter broadcasts a report on C.O.P.S. and their criminal ties to a dangerous criminal outfit run by this guy-
They watch the news report and decide this over-zealous reporter needs to die. To make it clear to his bald-headed goon the big boss makes a finger gun and points it towards the TV.
The goon then uses a computer to create a fictional bounty for the young reporter effectively signing her death warrant. Top Dog John Tucker is immediately put on the case. He tracks her down in a parking garage and detains her.
Soon all the other C.O.P.S. are trying to kill the reporter to collect the $100,000 bounty. Tucker is determined to play this one by the book and bring her in alive but the big boss needs her dead before she reveals to the world his crimes. That makes Tucker a problem that needs disposing of.
Now on the run with the reporter, Tucker must fight for his life as every renegade in the city is trying to kill him.
Armed only with a shitty Jeep Cherokee
a wheelchair bound dorklord who likes to talk to him over a futuristic video phone
and a Power Glove
John Tucker must survive the mean streets of the future.
Future Force is not only an action-packed dystopian thrill-ride, it's also truly inspiring in it's technology. It will be years before we can even come close to the multiple functions of the single button on the Power Glove's remote control.
Grab the torrent here or watch it on youtube.